That certain part.....

The other night I once again dozed off on my couch with the TV on to awaken at some point to the endless, mindless drone of infomercials.
Now usually I would have just hit the switch and crawled away to the relatively improved comfort of my bed, but no - call it a moon-phase thing, or perhaps a little too much coffee at work - I actually caught myself watching one.

And a bad one, at that.

Perhaps you've seen it (or not):
The mood is upbeat, the people being interviewed are overly cheerful and present glowing reviews of the product; Then, as lively music is played in a world of prepetual sunshine, an attractive woman and a doctor ( oh, yeah, he must be doctor, he's wearing a labcoat and a stethascope!) present a new wonder pill that, despite all it's hype and fanfare is only described as being certain to (ahem, direct quote here!) "increase the size of a certain part of the male anatomy" .
Ok, I know I was half asleep, but somewhere in my little brain, a neuron sparked and I suddenly found myself wondering: Which part?
Yeah, sure.... they must have been talking about the euphamism.
But it got me wondering.
Could this just be a clever marketing scheme disguised in double-speak?
I, mean..... Hamburgers, turkey sandwiches and pot roast are certain to increase the size of a certain part of the male anatomy ( otherwise I wouldn't be paying for a gym membership, for crying out loud!).
Why, a sugar pill would certainly do that for sure, especially if some desperate fellow with miniscule self-esteem were to pop 'em like candy (Why not? After all, they say it's "safe and all-natural").
Dunno for sure.
Not really wanting to find out.
One thing is certain though: Tonight I'm gonna try falling asleep to the radio!

Hooo Boy!

Looking over my last post, I began to wonder if it was perhaps it's a little too abysmal. I mean gosh, my life can't be that plain and boring, can it?
It's like since I finally gave up and became an engineer, I started to have a bit of a midlife crisis in reverse.

Not that I was ever all that wild in the first place.

Nope, compared to some of my friends I've always been considered something more akin to
"wild lite" in the past; often the nervous voice of reason in the crowd. Keeping the bills paid, the lights on and not straying further from the path than necessary to keep my interests piqued.

Some would say that I'm due for a midlife crisis, but that would just be stupid. I've seen it done time and time again; a rapid downward spiral of self-destructive behavior with the sole intention of reminding oneself that there was fun to be had.
But therein lies the problem; those things that one can get away with at the tender ages between 15-25 or so aren't so easily looked upon (or for that matter overlooked) in the world of the 30 or 40 somethings. Quitting your job to find yourself, going on drinking binges (or in some cases worse), getting that tattoo you always wanted, or dying your hair green and trying to start a punk-rock band, for that matter, are just stupid ideas.
It's like watching a drunk old man making passes at a good looking waitress in a sports bar, funny at first....... then unpityably tragic after the laughter dies down and the party ends to find him lying alone in a gutter after falling off his rainbow.

Midlife crisis? Nope, I've got a little too much self-respect to do that.

What the heck happened to me?

I was just updating my profile...... ugh.
That's when it hit me, like a ton of bricks, no less.
I'm not really a "character" anymore, call it maturity (starting to feel a little sick here) or perhaps a new chapter in life; a lot of things have changed.
My ponytail is gone, I no longer wander about the "colorful" section of town haunting the local live music scene in a fedora and tweed coat spending the money that I make at a job I chose for it's constantly changing nature and oddball situation, and I no longer drive cars for the sake of keeping them alive.
These days I find myself driving a late model Volvo to my second-shift "life in a cubicle" type job that keeps me at home when I get there in the wee hours, usually long after the music has ended. Missing the constant physical activity of my old job -that included lugging TV's up flights of stairs and constantly lifting them to the workbench for repair- has driven me to get a gym membership and I've actually been golfing a time or two. I rarely ever wear a hat on weekdays anymore, and when I do, it's a plain ballcap. And when I do go out it's to the same bar, the one that my friends work at (and not, mind you, "friendly bartender" aquaintances, but the "Hey man, I'm having a cookout, gonna watch the game, going camping" type of friends) , to play video games, discuss politics and music and, in their words, sit and sip my beer "like an old man".
Last week I took my car to a mechanic........ a MECHANIC!
I, the guy who once in his life drove particular cars for the thrill of experiencing the glory of understanding the inner workings of automobiles - even to the point of having rebuilt cars from scratch with my own two hands just for giggles- went to a mechanic!

I guess this is what it feels like to be a grownup.

Just like starting over......

..... or not.
It's been well over a year since I've blogged last, needless to say, stuff has happened.
Work has become a familiar routine, I no longer drive the same car, and it seems that more and more of my old friends have fallen into their own lives and make rarer appearances in the stream of my day to day events.
For a while it seemed that I too would find myself in a similar situation with an old dear friend that had once been a childhood aquaintance. Though that just wasn't meant to be, the point that our similarities ended was ultimately the ending of our relationship. Life's like that sometimes.

But enough of that.
I still have places to go and things to do, friends to meet, and events to attend.... just as always. I plan to make the next post a little more interesting, but for now I just want to reaffirm that I'm still alive and able to post.

A Quick Update

....'cause I have places to go!

Long story short, I haven't been blogging as much as usual because (insert drumroll)

I Got A Job!!

I now work as a test engineer with CTDI (a Bellsouth, AT&T and Verizon contractor)

The work is good, the pay is good and, best of all, it's second shift (so I can still do the self-employment thing on the side).

the only down side is the 40 mile round trip commute....... I just might have to bite the bullet and buy a new car, but I'm not sweating it.

As soon as I adjust, I shall resume posting with the regularity of a fat man on a bran muffin binge.

You can't always judge on first appearances......

.......and sometimes you really wish you didn't.

I got this lighter the other day when I was out and found that fire was the only element standing between relative calm and a 4-alarm Nic-fit (Dang Zippos..... they'll never be perfect until they come out with a model that's got a gas guage).

Long story short...... this particular one is apparently some kind of undercover redneck.
Or at least that was my first impression.

Perhaps it's my Northern side speaking here, but isn't that the wrong thing to be proud of?
Yeah sure, I like Gone With The Wind and all, but hasn't just about everything worth mentioning to be proud of happened AFTER the Civil war?

I don't know about you, but I think it's time that Southerners come up with a new symbol to represent the region and the progress it's made since antibellum times. Something that brings about thoughts of stuff like:
The literary contributions of Southern writers.
The battles won in the fight against racism and bigetry, and those who fought them.
Industrialization (heck, Mercedes Benz's are made in Alabama!)
The space program. (You don't see 'em landing, launching or building any rockets in North Dakota!)
Scientists and scientific discoveries (who'da thunk that there would have been so many uses for the lowly peanut?)
...............just to name a few things.

Nope, nothing wrong with a little Southern Pride........ I just wish that saying so didn't cause people to wonder just what you mean by that, and that it could be symbolized by something other than the battle flag of the old south.

Happy Birthday MTV!

As of this date in history 25 years ago, nothing so formitable had come before, or for that matter since, the inception of MTV occured.

I still remember the tender young age at which I was introduced to this phenomenon (9... or was it 10?, nevermind, there it was, bands, playing music........On TELEVISION, no less!). Awsome, and at once strange....... and different. Yeah, the first time was heavy on the REO Speedwagon and Rod Stewart, but there was also The Prentenders, The Who and some Bowie........ all announced by The Buggles.

In the latter days came Remote Control, and even later Liquid Television, with the intoduction of Bevis and Butthead with (though still an unadmitted favorite, should one ask, cause she was just a cartoon) Daria and Aeon Flux.

I call out to all of my generation; Do you remember the promo in which the spectre of Death knocked on the door of a young man who answered, "Sorry, I'm watching MTV", and then replied politely with"OK, I'll wait until it's over." ?

Good thing we didn't take that seriously!

Sure, they don't show videos anymore (at least not when I'm watching), and the tribute (along with a rerun of the first day of programming) was shown by VH1 (admittedly because the people now in charge said that it would be a detrement to their younger audience to aknowledge their current age), but I still owe a debt nonetheless for who they were when I was who I was then.


No matter what you still gotta love the day that video killed the radio star, 'cause even if MTV sucks today, it's history, man, like the day man landed on the moon!

Oh snap! I gotta do something about this! But what?

.......Another unseen peril of self-employment jumps up and bites me on my narrow white ass.

After another failed attempt to get a "regular job" today, I frustratedly asked the interviewer what qualities of my experience and education prevented me from qualifying. And in an unseen bout of H.R. honesty; Instead of the usual, "You're just not the candidate we had in mind, sir.", I got a real answer, and not just an apologenic one, but one that makes sense:

"Your work history indicates you are currently self-employed."

It has finally come to my attentions that nothing scares the ever-livin' s#!t out of a prospective employer like the idea of hiring on, training, and placing a guy in charge of stuff that might just abscond with your customers and expensive knowlege for his own business. Why didn't I think of that!?!!!???

And to make matters worse, I put some of my current clients down as "professional references"!
Imagine how it looks when the former manager of a now-defunct company's references are contacted, only to explain that I was the one that originally negotiated the contracts with said defunct company!

Now I've got's problems, 'cause without those references, and the last 6 months proof of occupation, I stand just as little chance of looking good on paper. Especially since the owner of the last business I worked for (and that was for a period of 9 years, mind you!) cannot be contacted becuase he has left the country for Iran..... of all places.

Dammit anyway!