Monday
Welp, here it is Monday night and here I am, back at work blatatly misusing the shop computer for personal stuff.
A call from my Grandma has set some wheels in motion that I wish I could apply some brakes to.....
It would seem that the annual family get-together in the land of the Hoosiers has been rather quickly rescheduled to allow for my nephew's baptism.
Meaning? Next week (more accurately next Thursday) I have to be in Indiana. In other words, "Yikes!". Now how the hell am I gonna pull that one off? Simply put, I'm gonna' QUIT MY JOB!
Truth be told, I knew that this would have to happen sooner or later, and it's ultimately for the best for a whole lot of reasons.(I know I've gone through the list before, but this is for me, perhaps if I put it in print, I'll feel better about doing such a selfish and heinous thing to the loyal and patient customers/commercial clients.
The reasons I shouldn't feel guilty and just run screaming:
1)I don't own this place, in fact I'm on a salary.
2)The owner has moved out of state and got a job.
3)There is NO one here other than me, and if it was possible for anyone else to be here it would be the owner himself. Not that it really matters, everyone that used to do this sort of work has simply said, "F**ck this" and found other ways of making money.
4)Being that I'm the only one here, there is no one to relieve me for any sort of time off.
5)The owner didn't leave me a paycheck (again!)the last time he was in town, I'm supposed to snatch up my pay from "petty cash" ......when I get some.(A quick sneak peek at the books has proven that there wouldn't be enough money in the account to cash it anyway until I make a deposit.)
6)I have simply "run out of gas" - I no longer feel the motivation, drive or interest needed to run in "full throttle caffeine driven house on fire panic" mode 6 f**king days a f**king week.... and that has contributed to an even greater pileup of unfinished work.
7)I have been noticing that this feeling (#6) is beginning to bleed over into other aspects of my life, and that really sucks. Though I did get a rush of joy (believe it or not) from helping move a giant sleeper sofa last weekend: I actually found myself sweating over something that seemed to be rewarding. And no pay other than the feeling that something was actually getting done was enough to give me a momentary secret fantasy of becoming a mover despite my creaky knees.
(scary, eh?)
I guess that the final shred of realization of how much I have lost interest and motivation came today when a customer brought in a McIntosh model 60 monoblock amp. I remember when the very SIGHT of something like that gleaming chrome and polished steel representation of the pinnicle of high-end vacuum-tube technology would have brought me to a state of ecstacy.....and the opportunity of repairing it unparalled Christmas day type joy.
Today's thought?
Meh...more broke shit to fix.
Maybe I'll feel better tomorrow...
A call from my Grandma has set some wheels in motion that I wish I could apply some brakes to.....
It would seem that the annual family get-together in the land of the Hoosiers has been rather quickly rescheduled to allow for my nephew's baptism.
Meaning? Next week (more accurately next Thursday) I have to be in Indiana. In other words, "Yikes!". Now how the hell am I gonna pull that one off? Simply put, I'm gonna' QUIT MY JOB!
Truth be told, I knew that this would have to happen sooner or later, and it's ultimately for the best for a whole lot of reasons.(I know I've gone through the list before, but this is for me, perhaps if I put it in print, I'll feel better about doing such a selfish and heinous thing to the loyal and patient customers/commercial clients.
The reasons I shouldn't feel guilty and just run screaming:
1)I don't own this place, in fact I'm on a salary.
2)The owner has moved out of state and got a job.
3)There is NO one here other than me, and if it was possible for anyone else to be here it would be the owner himself. Not that it really matters, everyone that used to do this sort of work has simply said, "F**ck this" and found other ways of making money.
4)Being that I'm the only one here, there is no one to relieve me for any sort of time off.
5)The owner didn't leave me a paycheck (again!)the last time he was in town, I'm supposed to snatch up my pay from "petty cash" ......when I get some.(A quick sneak peek at the books has proven that there wouldn't be enough money in the account to cash it anyway until I make a deposit.)
6)I have simply "run out of gas" - I no longer feel the motivation, drive or interest needed to run in "full throttle caffeine driven house on fire panic" mode 6 f**king days a f**king week.... and that has contributed to an even greater pileup of unfinished work.
7)I have been noticing that this feeling (#6) is beginning to bleed over into other aspects of my life, and that really sucks. Though I did get a rush of joy (believe it or not) from helping move a giant sleeper sofa last weekend: I actually found myself sweating over something that seemed to be rewarding. And no pay other than the feeling that something was actually getting done was enough to give me a momentary secret fantasy of becoming a mover despite my creaky knees.
(scary, eh?)
I guess that the final shred of realization of how much I have lost interest and motivation came today when a customer brought in a McIntosh model 60 monoblock amp. I remember when the very SIGHT of something like that gleaming chrome and polished steel representation of the pinnicle of high-end vacuum-tube technology would have brought me to a state of ecstacy.....and the opportunity of repairing it unparalled Christmas day type joy.
Today's thought?
Meh...more broke shit to fix.
Maybe I'll feel better tomorrow...
posted by Solderjunkie | 9:15 PM
3 Comments:
Don't forget to catalog all that stuff before you quit, get a half-decent picture of all of it, and put it up on eBay. Since you're going to Indiana anyway, taking the money and running is very good aerobic excercize.
It's not like he just sits there, tho. He's usually up to his eyeballs in television sets, which leaves very little time for surfing the net on dialup.
But that was very good advice, man. However, I tend to be of the opinion that if he's going to quit anyway, he ought'a try to ultimatum his way into (1) more pay, (2) more or total control of the business, (3) etc... I mean, if his plan is to quit anyway, what can he lose by making last-minute demands?
I had a little different experiece than what I planned, besides I don't want to MOVE to Indiana......Aw hell, check out my next post.
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