Things I learned the Hard Way.... Reflections on naive screwups
In the past 33 years that I have spent on this green marble we all call Earth, I would have to say that I have done some pretty dumb, yet self-educating things. And, I must admit in retrospect; I should have thought them through beforehand. Oh well, at least I know now what a fool I have been. Here's a list of 10 of the most poingnant ones, along with their circumstances (where applicable).
-Enjoy!
1)A roll-around desk chair is not to be ridden when towed behind a car, The wheels can't take the friction of 45mph.
When:In college.
How learned: Three words: "Blacktop Tattoo" & concussion
2)Never break up a cat fight bare-handed!
When:Bout '98
How learned:"Chomp!"
3)Cat's have very, very dirty mouths.
When:Next day
How learned: Raging infection
4)Tire pressure and type can adversly affect handling.
When:When I was living in FL and hot-rodding an MG
How learned:Finding myself sitting puzzeled amid a cloud of tire smoke, in an orange grove.
5)Don't wear loose fitting clothing while working with machinery.
When:Chalk another one to the MG in FL
How learned: Rip! ...and from that day on I kept my shirt tale tucked in.
6)Never drink milk, vodka, Kaluah and beer together.
When:1999
How learned: Double lung nostril vomiting in my friend's john. Much to the chagrin of his then fiancee.
7)No matter how appropriate the timing, never force a fart.
When:In grade school
How learned:"Stinky pants!, Stinky pants! Matthew's got stinky pants!"
8)Never take food from a stranger.
When:While night manager for an A/V company in Miami
How learned:"My gooodneeesss thaaaat waaas a good brownieee", too bad I called mom to pick me up, she freaked and the rest was ER and Charcoal.Ever had a charcoal shake?
9)Never agree to be a militant-feminist-conservationist-vegetarian-animal right's activist-athiest lesbian's roommate.
When:In College
How learned:Granted, she was a little crazy too, But talk about awkward, no taking your friends/dates home to hang out.
10)Everything sounds like a good idea after a few beers, Be sure to mull the thought over before sharing it with the crowd.
When:In College
How learned:Being caught by the resident manager with the whipped cream. At least it was sanitary, and everyone kept their pants on.
Of course everyone has had experiences like these in their lives, and I'm pretty sure that certain parties will be more than willing to add a couple dozen to my list, especially those who know me well.
Peace out, Kiddies!
-Enjoy!
1)A roll-around desk chair is not to be ridden when towed behind a car, The wheels can't take the friction of 45mph.
When:In college.
How learned: Three words: "Blacktop Tattoo" & concussion
2)Never break up a cat fight bare-handed!
When:Bout '98
How learned:"Chomp!"
3)Cat's have very, very dirty mouths.
When:Next day
How learned: Raging infection
4)Tire pressure and type can adversly affect handling.
When:When I was living in FL and hot-rodding an MG
How learned:Finding myself sitting puzzeled amid a cloud of tire smoke, in an orange grove.
5)Don't wear loose fitting clothing while working with machinery.
When:Chalk another one to the MG in FL
How learned: Rip! ...and from that day on I kept my shirt tale tucked in.
6)Never drink milk, vodka, Kaluah and beer together.
When:1999
How learned: Double lung nostril vomiting in my friend's john. Much to the chagrin of his then fiancee.
7)No matter how appropriate the timing, never force a fart.
When:In grade school
How learned:"Stinky pants!, Stinky pants! Matthew's got stinky pants!"
8)Never take food from a stranger.
When:While night manager for an A/V company in Miami
How learned:"My gooodneeesss thaaaat waaas a good brownieee", too bad I called mom to pick me up, she freaked and the rest was ER and Charcoal.Ever had a charcoal shake?
9)Never agree to be a militant-feminist-conservationist-vegetarian-animal right's activist-athiest lesbian's roommate.
When:In College
How learned:Granted, she was a little crazy too, But talk about awkward, no taking your friends/dates home to hang out.
10)Everything sounds like a good idea after a few beers, Be sure to mull the thought over before sharing it with the crowd.
When:In College
How learned:Being caught by the resident manager with the whipped cream. At least it was sanitary, and everyone kept their pants on.
Of course everyone has had experiences like these in their lives, and I'm pretty sure that certain parties will be more than willing to add a couple dozen to my list, especially those who know me well.
Peace out, Kiddies!
posted by Solderjunkie | 2:00 AM
1 Comments:
11. Never buy a car that your mechanic warned you not to buy just because it has a sunroof.
When: In college
How learned: When I had to spend $600 for the 3rd time because the clutch assembly kept pulling away and no gears could be shifted. But oh how I loved that sunroof.
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