Some rules for searching for Ms. Right

After having a rather nasty little divorce, I have meditated on what the hell I could have done different to avoid circumstances such as those I experienced. What I came up with might be common knowledge, but whatever,here's the handy guide I came up with:


The Rules are as follows:
1)Don't confuse love with lust.
Keep it zipped! Especially at first, you don't know this person, for all you know they might have some crotch-rotting disease. Besides this, just think about what would happen if they got pregnant before you found out that they were Satan incarnate?

2)Find out who they really are.
Talk to their friends, meet their family, meet the ex -if possible. Check out their place ect. Converse on politics, religion, pets and kids, and see if she's up-front and honest. Remember that there are certain things that are Relationship Killers and don't capitulate.

RELATIONSHIP KILLERS:
a)Drug problems- if it's illegal it's a problem. You could wind up losing everything, maybe even your life or future children.

b)Psychological problems- including anger-management, risky behaviors, clinical depression or schizophrenia,alcoholism-Some are treatable, but make certain that she has had conviction to do so.
And stay that way for HERSELF!

c)ANY kind of abusive or manipulative behaviors - this doesn't just mean getting slapped around, but emotional blackmail (all that "I'll love you if_______", or "If you love me you'll_______" crap). Sabotaging your friendships or dictating who you can or can't be with.Don't let someone else tell you what to do, for better
or worse, you are your own boss.

3)Stay objective.
Don't make or take excuses for their behaviors.
None of that "She does that because she had a bad childhood" crap. None of that "She'll get better in time" or "I can fix that" B.S. either.

4)"Love conquers all" is bullshit!
There is no such thing as a "Knight in shining armor". No one can solve someone else's personal problems or issues, and no one can save anyone from themself.

5)You can only make yourself happy, or miserable.
"Happiness" is a choice we all make day to day by whether or not we dwell on bad things or find the good in situations. It also involves empowering yourself to change your circumstances if they suck.

6)KNOW WHO YOU ARE!
If you don't already know, than you've got some growing up to do!
BEFORE you start even looking for Ms Right!
This is the most important thing you'll ever know! Don't give yourself up to be putty in their hands. Hold fast to your beliefs, likes, dislikes and morals! You want a partner, not a dictator.
If She can't let you be you without a fight....or having to sneak around behind her back, just walk away.

7)Make certain that SHE knows who she is.
And accept that warts and all. If she doesn't have convictions, beliefs,likes and dislikes of her own, she'll eventually become self-aware and then miserable or combative..... or sneak around behind your back.

8)No Cheaters!
If you are in an exclusive relationship and she cheats... don't blame the other guy, she's the one who said "Yes".

9)Everybody's different...and everybody's got their little flaws.
Keep that in mind and don't let the little stuff get too big. Just don't trivialize any of the above mentioned "Killers".

10)Be Honest! With her and with Yourself!
If you think you've got something to gain by hiding your mistakes, habits, or shortcomings or worse yet,Your own true self.THINK AGAIN!!
Secrets turn to lies and no one wants to be with a liar. You are human and no one is perfect. If she can't accept that...then walk away.

Above all....You should be happy, don't sit around saying "I'm lonely, or I wish I had a Woman". Get out, meet people...hang with your buds, get in a club or church group. Find like minded souls and communicate! And most of all make good friends who accept you for who you are and make you feel good about being who you are...because you are the only one that you are guaranteed to spend the rest of your life with!

Gnite, and be happy!